I’m sorry you do what?

A running list of company descriptions I’ve seen while job searching that made me wonder either “why does this need to be a company” or “what does this even mean”.

We’re building [redacted]: a platform allowing developers to deploy applications across all rollups without fragmenting liquidity.

We are a growing US-based startup company on a mission to help developers build chains in the gaming metaverse. We are building an open-source protocol that will allow crypto-based applications to deliver at the scale they need to as the metaverse expands.

At our core, we’re driven by the mission of tailoring growth for our customers by enabling them to transform their aspirations into tangible outcomes. We’re dedicated to empowering them to shape their futures and achieve ambitious goals. To fulfil this commitment, we foster a culture defined by agility, innovation, and an unwavering commitment to progress. Our organizational framework is both streamlined and vibrant, characterized by a hands-on leadership style that prioritizes results and fosters growth.

a social platform for fractional ownership of investment properties. We’re on a mission to open the private real estate market to everyone by making it inclusive, educational, collaborative, and fun.

…creates the optimal paid search environment guaranteeing the best ads show against targeted search queries. Through our Team + Tech (“People-Powered AI”) approach, our platform dynamically creates and manages account structures, identifies and deploys new keywords, and generates winning ad copy automatically, at scale.